When it comes to weddings and wedding planning, the guest list is often the one thing that can cause the most headaches. Because, when numbers are restricted, due to size of venue, cost, or location, it invariably means that some people can end up feeling left out.

So, where do you start when you have to put friends and family in order of wedding list importance? How can you stop people from realising they were on the backup list, when you invite them a little late in the day because people on the original guest list pulled out?

To add to that, what if you’re just not a child person and the thought of little ones rampaging around during the nuptials sends you cold? How do you tell your friends and family that it’s time to book the babysitter?

To be fair, your wedding day is a huge occasion in your life, maybe you don’t want to risk the thought of a little one screaming the place down when you take your vows, or diving off tables right at the point when the speeches start.

There are many reasons why people choose to have an adult only wedding.  Perhaps, it’s not even that they aren’t a fan of the little darlings, but if numbers are tight because of the size of the place they’re getting married in, they might want to just have adults there, to help keep the list of attendees down.

Maybe costs are tight and there are several friends and family members who often come to special events with a whole brood of children in tow. The possibilities are endless.

So, when you’ve made the decision that your wedding will be child free, as many couples do, here are some dos and don’ts when it comes to breaking the news to your guests….

DO Stand firm and DON’T Pick and choose which children can attend

There’s no point telling all of your friends that they can’t bring their kids, only for your mother in law to decide that certain family members are an exception. This is only going to cause bad feeling. If you make your wedding adults only, ensure the same goes for everyone who is there.

DO Make it clear from the start

There’s no need to emblazon the words NO KIDS ALLOWED in bold across your invites, that’s an etiquette nono.. instead, try making it subtle, yet clear. Perhaps mark on the invitation the

names of exactly who is invited and mark up the replies with only those names. Get your close friends and family to spread the word, so that there is plenty of time for people to make childcare arrangements. This way, when the questions arise, the answer is plain and simple.

DO try and inform guests in a positive way

So as not to offend anyone, look at saying you’re keeping your wedding ‘adult only’ in the nicest possible way.

Perhaps mention your reasons behind it (if they’re nothing that’s going to offend). You could consider a few lines on your wedding website, something like: ‘Due to restrictions in numbers of guests we can have at the venue, we have had to ask that only adults attend….’

You can then perhaps give details of babysitting services in the area, or, if it really is making things hard for some of your guests, who are maybe travelling a long way, think about providing a nanny service in a room near to where the ceremony or reception is taking place.

Remember, it’s your wedding day, so it’s your right to have things exactly how you want them. Be clear and polite from the start and look forward to having a big day that’s everything you want it to be.