French weddings are a spectacular affair, not only because they’re done twice through one formal civil ceremony, which is open to the public and held at a mairie (town hall), then another which can be a more religious or humanist ceremony.

They’re renowned for their magnificence, but have you ever wondered what actually goes on at a traditional French wedding (the second one, that is)?

A French friend of mine recently told me that in her family, when someone gets married, it’s tradition, as part of the celebrations, to use fireworks to make a pretend post box explode. She wondered if this might be a northern French tradition, or one just unique to her family, but it was certainly something I hadn’t heard of before.

So, in the absence of encouraging activities of quite such an explosive nature, let’s look at the more mainstream French wedding traditions. It’s a great idea to incorporate a few of the following favourites if you’re looking to get married in France…

One big thing to mention is that French weddings are very noisy affairs, especially before and after the ceremony, so, put it this way, if a French wedding is happening near to you, then there’s no way that you’re not going to hear about it. In addition, the happy union is more about the coming together of two families, than the large focus on the bride that you might see in the UK.

Also there are lots of children involved, normally young family members, or friends’ children, which is a delightful touch that brings much joy to the celebrations.

And what else is a staple tradition of a French wedding?

Before the ceremony

It’s tradition that the groom collects his bride from her home to take her to the wedding. This was normally done in the form of a procession led by musicians.

As the bride makes her way to the chapel with her father, children stretch white ribbons in her way and the bride must cut the ribbons as she passes, proving that she’s able to overcome obstacles married life might throw at her.

When the guests have been seated, the groom will then walk down the aisle with his mother followed by the bridal party – however, there are no bridesmaids, best men or ushers – instead, lots and lots of children and the bride, again accompanied by her father.

Then it’s time for the vows…

In the UK a couple getting married would traditionally say “I do” in answer to their vows – but this doesn’t quite make sense in the French language to be used as part of wedding vows. Instead, the loving couple say: “Je le veux” which means, “I want it.”

In a truly French way this brings a more romantic air to the ceremony and becomes more about love and desire, than obligation.

Two older traditions for the bride was the wearing of a black dress and the bride’s father signed the marriage paper, although these were two traditions which faded out. However, one which remains is the much loved ‘livret de famille’ – a legal official family book you receive when you get married in France. After the wedding and in years to come, the couple put in there the birth of children and deaths of family members.

After the ceremony, guests then head to the reception venue making a lot of noise. In the past it was a similar procession to when the groom collects the bride – including musicians and a great celebration, with the newlyweds pulled in a cart by a donkey – now, for convenience, many travel in cars, so there’s lots of beeping horns instead.

The wedding reception

Once the guests arrive at the beautiful French wedding venue where the reception will be held, the joie de vivre continues with much gusto and it goes without saying that the French most definitely know how to throw a party for many hours.

The celebrations begin with the vin d’honneur- which most often is a divine mix of French wine and French food. Everyone – and we mean everyone – is invited to this part of the celebration (almost like a taster of the big reception to come), where they can enjoy free drinks, a toast and hors d’oeuvres included. Literally, just about everyone from the area is invited as opposed to the traditional formalities that take place in the UK with less people and more coming to the evening do.

Other highlights of a traditional French wedding include the following:

• Les Dragees – sugared almonds, which are given to guests in fives to symbolise happiness, health, longevity, fertility and wealth. It may have gone out of fashion in the UK but is still very popular over the Channel.
• Champagne waterfall – poured over champagne glasses piled high in a vast pyramid and created using only the very best French champagne, bien sur!
• Cheese comes before pudding at a French wedding reception (opposite to traditions of the UK – it’s a perfect showcase of the French love of exquisite cheese).
• The bride will have the first dance starting with her dad and then the groom will take over
• The cake – not a traditional tiered wedding cake as such, the French have a croquembouche (La piece montee), which is a pyramid of cream buns! The French tradition comes from the middle ages, where wedding guests would each bring a small cake to the wedding to be piled high. Alternatives can be macarons or French pastries.

After the after party…

A great tip for a French wedding is, if you want to make the most of it, pace yourself on the booze because there’s lots to be had for many, many hours.

While the vin d’honneur (or mini reception) may take place straight after the ceremony, and you can make the most of delicious hors’ d’oeuvres to soak up the alcohol, many French weddings don’t see the guests sitting down for the main meal until well into the night.

Finally, after the celebrations, in the very early hours of the next morning, everyone is traditionally given onion soup to help them cope with the hangovers.

In deep French tradition, this is also the time for the ‘pot de chambre’, an old tradition where the villagers run around with a chamber pot, looking for the newlyweds who are then encouraged to drink from it to give them vigour after the wedding night.

The chamber pot would be full of chocolate, spices, bread – and more alcohol… vive le France!